Dear Helpless & Bitter,

If I was right there with you it would be easy to fix your problem because I could just take over the mouse and keyboard and make it work in like 5 minutes. However, it sucks having to type it all out and if someone isn’t familiar with the terms and applications I’m talking about, then it takes even longer to type out the description of what I’m talking about, or try to take a screen capture to send to you so you see what I mean. Not to mention that I usually get at least 3 requests EVERY DAY at work or from friends to help them with their computer problems. At the end of the day when I get home, I just don’t feel like being your on-call “tech support” anymore. Sometimes I want people to call me or IM me when they DON’T have a problem with their printer, or iTunes, or getting a program for free, or setting up their email or wireless network, etc.

No offense, but what I usually do for you for free is what the Geek Squad charges between $100 and $450 for. I do it because I enjoy computers and I enjoy helping people. But sometimes I don’t feel like it because I get it all the time. And when I don’t feel like troubleshooting something for you, I refer you to Google because most likely you can spend 10 minutes searching and find your answer. Searching is how I learned most of what I know. You can get bitter at me for referring you to Google, but just realize that you’re bitter at me because you’re lazy, not because I wouldn’t help you.

Next time you ask for my help, I’ll probably tell you I don’t know how to fix it just to get you off my back because you gave me attitude the last time I didn’t help you. If I’m gonna have to put up with your demands and bitterness, then you better start paying me!

With much 1′s and 0′s,

Your local computer geek